How to use "The Secret" to find a "Soulmate"

The 10 Elements of a Soulmate

As the American writer Richard Bach said, "A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are."

This post originally appeared on Huffingtonpost.

Ah, soulmates. The epitome of love and partnership. In our fast-paced chaotic world, which boasts all sorts of different people, we find ourselves skimming through more relationships than we'd like in order to find that one person who can truly open our locks.

Not just anyone can fulfill you the way your soulmate can. There's a world of a difference between your soulmate, your heart's other half and a life partner -- a person who lacks the elements to mold perfectly to you. Your soulmate makes you feel entirely whole, healed and intact, like no piece is missing from the puzzle. A life partner, on the other hand, can be a great supporter and long-time companion, but is limited in his or her capacity to enrich your spirit.

Most of us remain in life-partner relationships because we "settle," for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, we may have a real subconscious fear of being alone. And since we're biologically designed to fall in love, it's only natural that we pair up in this world. But we sometimes prolong what are meant to be temporary relationships and mistakenly settle into them for good. There are relationships which must last for a certain period of time to close out a karmic chapter of life, relationships in which we're meant to have children with our partner but not necessarily remain with them, and relationships which are just plain confusing because a melting pot of emotions doesn't allow us to see our predestined path.

I've seen it all in my practice as a psychologist, from couples who married their childhood loves to people in their retirement years who still struggle with commitment issues. Most of us fall somewhere between these two extremes, meaning that we experienced several relationships before finding the person we believe to be our perfect pairing. Whether you're currently married, in a relationship, or contemplating entering a relationship with a new love interest, it is crucial that you know what role this person will play in your life. After all, there's no avoiding the inevitable, often uncomfortable question we must ask ourselves: Is this the person I was bound by destiny to share my life with? Or did I settle too quickly into a relationship with someone who can never complete me?

No matter the category you fit into to, there are several indications which clearly outline a soulmate bond (or a lack of bond) between you and your partner. As you go through this list, think about your partner or potential partner and evaluate whether they meet the soulmate criteria.

The 10 Elements of a Soulmate:

1. It's something inside. Describing how a soulmate makes you feel is difficult. It's a tenacious, profound and lingering emotion which no words can encompass.

2. Flashbacks. If your partner is your soulmate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. Soulmates often choose to come back together during the same lifetime and scope each other out in the big world. You might suddenly and briefly experience flashbacks of your soulmate. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.

3. You just get each other. Ever met two people who finsh each other's sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but I call it a soulmate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the telltale sign of a soulmate when you experience it with your partner.

4. You fall in love with his (or her) flaws. No relationship is perfect, and even soulmate relationships will experience ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soulmates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each other's imperfections. Your relationship is more likely to be a soulmate match if you both love each other exactly as you each are, accepting both the great and awful tendencies we all have.

5. It's intense. A soulmate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you're focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the bad moment.

6. You two against the world. Soulmates often see their relationship as "us against the world." They feel so linked together that they're ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they have their soulmate by their side. Soulmate relationships are founded on compromise and unity above all else.

7. You're mentally inseparable. Soulmates often have a mental connection similar to twins. They might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. Though life may keep you apart at times, your minds will always be in tune if you are soulmates.

8. You feel secure and protected. Regardless of the gender of your partner, he or she should always make you feel secure and protected. This means that if you're a man, yes, your woman should make you feel protected, too! Your soulmate will make you feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. A person who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is not your soulmate.

9. You can't imagine your life without him (or her). A soulmate is not someone you can walk away from that easily. It is someone you can't imagine being without, a person you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.

10. You look each other in the eye. Soulmates have a tendency to look into each other's eyes when speaking more often than ordinary couples. It comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking a person in the eye when speaking denotes a high level of comfort and confidence.

Whether you're designed by the universe to be soulmates or two loving people who have settled for each other's strengths and weaknesses, the decision is yours. The beauty of free will is that you can remain in or change any relationship as you see fit. To be with your soulmate is one of the precious treasures of life. And if you feel you've found your heart's other half, I wish you endless days of joy and laughter, and countless nights of deep embrace, unraveling the mysteries of the universe one by one.

To love,

Dr. Carmen Harra

How to get your ex girlfriend back

Ways to Get Your Girlfriend Back - Letting Her Go to Get Her Back again

Photo: mylifebook

Source: www.articlecity.com

It does not necessarily mean that you are giving up on the romantic relationship, nor does it signify that you no lengthier care about your girlfriend. Somewhat, letting her go signifies giving her the time and space away from you that permits her to miss you and know what she had. It's human nature to want elements only when we don't have them any more. When you efficiently offer with your private emotions, accept the breakup, and let her go, you shift the energy dynamic back in your favor. 

When you allow your girlfriend go just after a breakup, you deliver all the proper messages. It shows that you are strong, independent, and assured which are all attractive traits. It reveals your girlfriend that though you really want her in your existence, you don't need to have her in your everyday life to be pleased. It says to her, you may possibly not want to be aspect of my existence appropriate now, but if you're not then you're going to be lacking out on something wonderful because I refuse to sit about begging, pleading, apologizing, and being depressed. Lifestyle is too brief for all that. I'm going to be ok no make a difference what. 

Do you see why this is so strong? Until eventually you're gone, she can't miss you. Even if you're not seeing her, just sending texts or calling her nevertheless suggests you're around and she can't miss you. Soon after a breakup, you really should do your greatest to stay away from all speak to for at minimum a few of weeks. If she calls missing you, don't just drop every thing and rush more than to see her. Otherwise you give all the energy back to her and chances are the subsequent day she'll sense like she made a mistake. 

When she feels you're shifting on with your existence and she may lose you for very good, then she'll begin earning the energy to get you back instead. If she doesn't, then odds are she actually is really above you and has made a decision you're not the correct man for her. If this is the case, then you must accept it, but by letting her go in the very first put, you have presently ready all by yourself for the worst. 

Letting her go is really tricky. It's agonizing and you will sense like you're tearing your personal heart out. But some unlucky souls entirely fall short and get dumped. What do they do now to get them to appear back again? 

What to say to a woman to get her back is often an unanswered query. But we will go over some issues you can say to get her to arrive operating back again. Points can be restored to their former state with some persistence and good preparation and the ideal points to say. Make her think exceptional and allow her in on how substantially you treatment for her. Say the appropriate items, and she will have no selection but to come back again. 

Here are some methods to go about it. 

one. Initial items initial, do not stalk her! Most of the time guys can get desperate and continue to keep calling her, often even behaving fairly rudely.

Controlling Behavior in Relationships

Is His Behavior Normal?

Photo: wikihow

Source: http://ezinearticles.com/

After many years of marriage my husband suddenly began acting in ways that were undeniably weird. He dumped 20 gallons of kerosene around our home and threatened to set it on fire for no apparent reason; jelly donuts were dripping down the silk wallpaper and our children were running for cover. Finally, his employer sent him home and told him not to return until he found the cause of his behavioral changes. At last, he agreed to go to the doctor

As I explained the events to the doctor, he looked him in the eye and said, "I want you to see a psychiatrist."

"I'm not going to see a psychiatrist; there is nothing wrong with me."

"Do you think this behavior is normal?"

"For me, it is!"

This is the extreme, but worth repeating. What is normal for your guy? What can you accept and still feel secure in the relationship and what is too troubling to allow you to have peace of mind?

I have learned that listening to that inner voice in our mind is the best guide to deciding what is normal. It is benevolent and never lies to us. If we hear it and don't believe it, we have invited our good friend denial in to keep us company. Normal is like a sliding bar; you decide where the green turns red.

It is difficult and maddening for women to understand why men can sit beside them, appearing to be enthralled with their words and swear you never said those things to them. You thought you were having a meaningful conversation.

They were miles away, changing the oil in the car, planning a fishing trip or deciding how they would handle something at work. Is this normal? It is; they were doing what we do... riveting their real attention on what is important for them. The difference is we don't even pretend to listen.

If your guy is getting up to leave at odd hours of the night, or spending his sleeping time online; there's a problem. No excuses, something is up. You know this or you would not question it. Don't waste precious time discussing it with your friend. Act on it and be prepared for it to be painful. This is usually not innocent.

If your guy has always enjoyed being intimate with you and suddenly goes to sleep early and seems disinterested; be aware. There is a medical or emotional issue at hand. Men are not complicated. Our Creator passed that trait out in the women's line. Don't run red lights in relationships. Stop, look and listen.

Many couples do not share financial issues. If you have always enjoyed shopping and have never had any reason to believe it was an issue, you may be shocked when suddenly it is. What does this mean? Keep it simple. Either there is a financial crunch you are unaware of, or an emotional change that has made your guy suddenly look critically at your habits. If it is the second, beware, a change is at hand.

We all know the cheating signs and have been studying them for years. If the signs are there, investigate. It is not the time to be an ostrich. You begin by asking; this usually is not productive. Many times women avoid this in fear that their position will suddenly be devalued; that they will be labeled as jealous, mistrustful and clinging. Pay attention here; if the signs are real, there is a real problem. If you are looking for signs because you are feeling insecure, catch a clue; when it is real, the signs are real. Follow by looking for the facts. Oddly enough, when cheating is involved, guys behave the same regardless of their personality traits!

If your guy has a bad temper and is prone to loud and embarrassing outbursts, pay attention. This typically escalates to verbal abuse and then violence. How do you know when either of those monsters has sauntered into your relationship? The best first clue is when you hear these words, "See what you made me do!"

When their bad behavior becomes your fault you are in the grips of an abuser. Look for an exit and make haste. I promise you this is not going to get better. You see the very best of a person early in the relationship. Don't delude yourself into imagining that you will change anyone's behavior. If you cannot accept them as they are, put your shoes on and start walking. Don't allow yourself to accept this behavior for any reason.

What behavior is normal for your guy? Humans have a pattern of behavior, we all do. You have become familiar with his normal. If you are questioning his behavior now, it is likely that little inner voice nudging you, telling you something has changed. Find the cause and decide whether it is something you can remain in the relationship with and feel secure or whether you are moving on.

And one more thing; it takes a miracle to truly change one's mind. This is painfully true about human nature. And it is the best reason not to ignore behavior that is unacceptable or consider it as normal. Because when you do, you have made up your mind about this person... and only a real miracle will change it.

Trusting Your Heart Whether To Stay Or Go

Photo: jameswhatmensecretlywant

Source: http://ezinearticles.com/

It's developed first in our heart
That reason to continue or part
The heart causes us to contemplate
Whether we continue or not to relate.

We may consider ending a relationship based on our thinking, but our hearts end up being the final Adjudicator. Likewise, it's the heart that will commit us to remain, even when things are still quite impossible.

TRUST YOUR HEART

In our hearts is nurtured the hope for life.

But the heart involves us in the tricky business of discerning hope for life from the faculty of falsity that produces death. Nobody wants to invest in anything that will take them the wrong way in life. Yet it isn't as easy as we think to differentiate between hope for life and faculties of falsity that produce death.

So often many forms of spiritual death come by the relationships we make or have made.

We come to regret our decisions to commit to a person, a venture, or some discretionary facet of life that we see now the waste that it is. Perhaps we trusted our heart, yet maybe also we decided rashly. Everyone regrets some decisions; some commitments that were made without venturing into the plausible potential.

It is never too late to rescind a decision; to reconsider, on the basis of a godly-discerned wisdom, what God would have us do. This is no cop-out, nor is it the opportunity to enter into a sin to cover over a sin. It's an opportunity to make right the wrongs of yesterday or yesteryear.

Trusting our heart is about the wisdom of discernment; knowing what God would have us do; what the will of God would be. It is no foregone conclusion. It is difficult, even sometimes impossible, to accurately discern. But our hearts may indeed confirm what we are to do; after a great deal of thought.

***

Thinking, and a great deal of it, comes first.

But there is the frequent and seamless interaction of the mind as it communicates in the language of the heart, and vice versa.

The heart influences the mind, with trepidation initially, and then finally, with the purpose, reason, and drive to make the decision.

The mind is always the one that decides. The heart is its jury. The head is the judge carrying out the jury's verdict. The mind executes what the heart has been won to.

Trust your heart, most especially as it has journeyed long and hard with the mind.

What Men Find Beautiful In A Woman

iPhone owners 'more likely to sext'

iPhone owners 'more likely to sext'

When Do You Get On Your Partner’s Nerves?

Source: http://www.metrorelationship.com

Do you know when you get on your partner’s nerves? There is a general underlying theme to the complaints couples usually share and that is that their partner is being egocentric. Egocentrism gets in the way of witnessing our partner’s beauty, gifts and contributions. It keeps us trapped in our mind’s machinations and delusions keeping us from Being our Authentic Self. Egocentrism prevents us from connecting with our partner and from having the relationship we want.

Most complaints can be boiled down to partners being egocentric. And, yes, this applies to those with codependent tendencies as well… Partners get stuck on their perspective, expectations, position, blaming the other or looking for the other’s shortcomings, and how their needs are not met. We can’t see our partner in all their glory – their brilliance, intentions, and love. We can’t be mindful and loving. Egocentric interactions cause pain. Our behavior is reactive and calculated. We are out to get our needs met no matter what – most of the times at our partner’s and the relationship’s expense… The result is that we actually don’t really get our needs met…

Characteristics of egocentric behavior include being: inconsiderate, self-righteous, controlling, rigid, manipulative, flaky, unaccountable, aggressive, passive-aggressive, overbearing, invisible, withdrawn or non-involved. It is impossible to create a wonderful relationship when we use these tactics. These hurt our partner and invite them to protect themselves, even retaliate, creating reciprocal negative and dissatisfying interactions. The stuckness in our relationship is made up of this yucky pattern.

Egocentrism comes from fear. We are egocentric as a means to make sure we are OK. Our ego is out to protect us unfortunately to our detriment as it forges “separateness” promoting additional fear and pain. What we desired in the first place, being connected, accepted and loved, is but impossible to get when we operate from this place. We are actually putting our hand up and saying ‘stop’.

Your stretch is to recognize when you are operating from an ego, fear-based place and move yourself to a heart centered, love-based place; mind your yucky thinking, engage your Authentic Self. When you recognize that you are being egocentric, you can bet your partner has not been experiencing you as loving. You have most likely been getting on their nerves and hurting them.

Once you are able to recognize that you’ve been egocentric, you can share your revelation with your partner. Share your fear script, your doubts, and your pain. Remember to speak about your vulnerability and not about how your partner contributed to the dissatisfying interaction. No need to overload, an acknowledgement of your wrong approach and reason behind it is sufficient.

Communicating on your process and sharing your vulnerability is validating to your partner allowing them to make sense of things, which in turn takes the sting away. This is an awesome repair skill to make nice after you’ve been hurtful. This level of self-ownership is empowering and healing, and builds intimacy and connection. Go for it, stop getting on your partner’s nerves!

Complete the MetroRelationship (sm) Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing the relationship you want.  

Happy Repairing!

~ Your MetroRelationship (sm) Assignment

This week, think about one of your reactions, positions, or behavior that you can recognize as egocentric, fear driven.

Think about how this could have been experienced by your partner… And, how they might have felt.

Create a soft, playful, fun, cozy, mindful, safe moment during which you can share your insight with your partner.

Add this to your took kit…

~ Share Your Thoughts & Successes!

Take a moment now to share below any thoughts, comments, take away, tips, and successes! PLEASE post a comment now – we grow in community!

Thanks for connecting with the MetroRelationship (sm) Family!

 Emma K. Viglucci is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couples ™ programs and products that assist couples succeed at their relationship and life. To get your downloadable relationship enrichment insights and receive her weekly successful couples articles, nurturing nuggets (sm) and other resources visit: www.metrorelationship.com. 

Women NEED To Wonder About You!

Why loving your partner is the most important thing parents can do for their kids

Source: www.why-loving-your-partner-is-the-most-important-thing-parents-can-do-for-their-kids/

Huffington Post blogger Jackie Morgan MacDougall recently caused controversy in a HuffPost Divorce blog. She argued that parents should prioritise their marriages to stave off divorce.

“I’m not saying to neglect the kids, but they won’t exactly suffer by seeing their parents put each other at the top of the list … serving as relationship role models,” MacDougall wrote.

I’m not sure why this is so controversial. This is hard-won wisdom, and it is also wisdom that has been around for a LONG time.

One of my favourite quotes about parenting says, “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” (The quote is attributed to close to half a dozen different people who all claim to have said it first.) And as it happens, it seems that research supports this view.

What partners come first

In some recent research I conducted at the University of Wollongong, parents were interviewed about their most vital life-roles. At the top of everyone’s list, unsurprisingly, were the roles of spouse and parent.

When I quizzed these study participants as to which was more important I discovered that most indicated that their marriage had to be a higher priority than their children. My follow-up questions revealed that spouses saw success in family life as based on the success of a marriage. In the words of one participant (a wife and mother of three school-aged children):

“If my relationship with my husband isn’t happy and solid and good for me … that impacts pretty much everything else that I do. So if my husband and I have had an argument, I lose the ability to be [good] with my children. And it doesn’t generally work the other way. If I’m feeling like I’m fulfilling that mother role well it doesn’t necessarily make my relationship with my husband any better. But if my relationship with my husband is good then that improves my capacity as a mother to perform and to be better in that role.”

Anyone who has ever had major challenges with a spouse or partner will generally agree that the impact those challenges create is far greater than the challenges our kids cause.

So with that in mind, here are five tips for how you can work together for your children. These are even more vital if your relationship with your children’s other parent is not strong.

1) Maintain a positive emotional atmosphere at home

By being supportive, kind, loving, affectionate, caring, and compassionate as a couple, your children will also benefit and feel secure. You can do this by simply taking the time to speak nicely, acknowledge one another, and make it clear that you enjoy being together.

It will probably embarrass the kids, but I also recommend having a big old smooch in the kitchen from time to time, just to show that you do love each other. It boosts the positivity pretty well too.

2) Appreciate each other

It is amazing the difference it makes when we notice the effort our spouse has made in maintaining the home, working to provide income, or helping with the children. Expressing gratitude makes people feel good – giver and receiver. Plus, it’s nice to be around people who appreciate you.

Try it as an experiment. Each day find three things to explicitly appreciate in your partner. Watch the difference it makes almost immediately.

3) Help

Talk to each other about the struggles each child is presenting for you. Ask for advice.

Look for ways you can support one another and develop solutions that will help you and your children. More than anything get in there and help.

Dads – get your hands wet and soapy in the bath or sink, read stories at bedtime, and spend time lessening your spouse’s load. You demonstrate your commitment to one another and to your children best by noticing when your spouse needs help. When you place your spouse’s needs above your own in a giving and sensitive way, you’ll improve your relationship and make home happier.

4) Make decisions together

Be on the same team, and support one another in your decision making.

If one or the other of you makes a decision you disagree with, avoid criticising this decision or undermining it in front of your children. Instead wait until you can discuss it privately and kindly.

Follow through on the things that you’ve agree on, together.

5) Communicate

Taking time to be together to do nothing but talk re-emphasises the fact that you matter to one another. A weekly lunch date, walk, or other activity rekindles closeness in you as a couple, and can help you work better together to raise a happy family.

I have often taught that attention is the currency of relationships. Often relationships are in trouble, or couples are simply treading water because of the simple fact that we don’t spend enough time together without interruptions from the kids. Make time to reconnect (no phones or screens allowed) and watch what it can do for your relationship.

Breast Lifting Exercise - High & Sexy Looking!

Breasts after Pregnancy: Getting Back to Normal

Ligaments and connective tissues support breasts, lending them their natural shape and level of perkiness. During pregnancy, a woman’s body goes through many changes. Her breasts naturally become larger during pregnancy and reach their peak after birth, resulting in full and gorged breasts during lactation. Shortly after – longer if she decides to breastfeed – her breasts shrink back to their smaller form. All this stretching and shrinking breaks down the connective tissues and ligaments that are responsible for breast support. Liken it to a rubber band that has been stretched out too many times.

 Things You Can Do During Pregnancy

If you’re pregnant or plan to become pregnant, you are no doubt worried about what will happen to your breasts. You’ve seen what’s happened to other women during pregnancy and in the months after, causing you concern for your own body. If you’re pregnant, you need to start taking care of your breasts now to prevent breaking down supportive tissue.

• Give your breasts plenty of support by wearing the right bra. During pregnancy, your breasts will grow, resulting in the need for new bras. Never try to squeeze into an old bra. Even if you can only afford a couple of new bras, make the investment. Never leave your heavier breasts without support. You may even have to wear a sports bra or something at night to keep your breasts from hanging free.
• Watch your weight during pregnancy. While it’s not healthy – for you or the baby – to restrict calorie intake during pregnancy, it’s also not a good idea to eat more than recommended or to give into fatty cravings. The faster you put on weight, the more strain you put on your breasts. Ideally, you should only gain 25 to 35 pounds during pregnancy. 
• Moisturize your breasts frequently. You’re probably already using cocoa butter on your tummy to avoid stretch marks. Expand on your moisturizing routing and include your breasts. You can use the same cocoa butter, your facial moisturizer, ordinary lotion or a breast-firming product like Brestrogen. Massage your breasts with moisturizer daily.

Things to Do after Pregnancy

After you’ve given birth, your breasts go through immediate and drastic changes. Approximately a week after birth, breasts stretch under the weight of milk-swollen glands. Even if you don’t breast feed, you can expect major breast changes during the first few months after birth. Following are some things you should do to get back to your old perky self.

• Examine your bra inventory once again. You may find that you have to go up another size immediately after pregnancy only to watch your breasts shrink down to a smaller size after a couple of months. Always wear a good supportive bra that fits you. Don’t cut corners. If it’s too small or too large, don’t wear it. Don’t go without a bra either.
• Take off pregnancy weight slowly. It’s normal to want to wear your pre-pregnancy jeans shortly after giving birth. If you can, great! If you can’t, don’t push it. Let the weight come off slowly by following a healthy eating plan along with moderate exercise.
• Tone up your pectoral muscles. Located in your chest, directly under your breasts, are your pectoral muscles. Strengthen these through weight lifting to create a solid platform for your breasts to rest on.

 It takes time to get your body and your breasts back into pre-pregnancy shape. Be patient. The connective tissues of your breasts will retract, resulting in perkier breasts, but it won’t happen overnight. In the meantime, give your breasts plenty of support by wearing a good bra. 

35 sex positions

Is your sex life screaming for an upgrade? With more than 35 orgasm inducing ways to get your grind on, our sex-position guide will help fulfill all your naughty needs...

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